#I've never had a migraine this bad aaaa

[benetnvsch]

started taking my midterm and got the worst optical migraine right at the start,, half of my vision was replaced by a wiggly circle and then after that disappeared after like 20 minutes or so it was replaced ByThe Worst Regular migraine ever </3 ouchie

[lilysparda]

I love my boyfriend AAAA

I didn't message anyone the other day, had a really bad depressive episode and basically kept my whole room void of light and felt like shit. I had my notifs turned off as well so I didn't see all my bf's messages and when I came on the next day, I felt so bad cause he messaged me multiple times asking if I was okay (cuz usually even on my worst days I at least send a text and check up on my friends) Have had a migraine for days but didn't wanna take meds for them because I don't wanna use too many of the strong meds because ibuprofen or paracetamol doesn't work well with my migraines. So I explained everything that's going on to him and left it there. My migraine got so bad today and nothing else I did got rid of it so I caved and took some of my strong meds and feel loopy and tired and just as I thought to text him to check up on him cuz he was going to his cousin's bday party and social stuff usually stresses him out, he called just as I picked my phone up (talk about timing) and despite the fact he's in a more stressful situation, he asked me if i'm alright and he sounded like more concerned than I expected so I said "yeah, why?" and he replied "I just want to make sure you're feeling better. I know how bad your depressive episodes can get and I worry about you anyway." AAAAAA He knows my depressive episodes can get really bad because even prior to dating if I went days without talking to anyone, he knew to call to check up on me (I never hang up calls and he knew that because friends and family only usually call me if it's urgent) and one thing I've struggled with for years is SH and I've done so in the past and it really upsets him to see me in a state like that. There was once a whole MONTH I couldn't beat the depressive funk I was in. Worst was I was stuck going to school during that month and he describes how I looked and acted as "dead but still walking and breathing, it was like the life was drained out of your eyes, you didn't have that spark of joy or humour you usually have". So whenever I mention I've had episodes like this, he always gets really concerned but it's so sweet he was still worrying even days after when I told him I was fine and pretty sure this one was just because my hormones were out of whack from my period. I wanna talk about him more because before dating up til now, we've been best friends for 9 years and he's been with me through thick and thin. I actually lost contact with him over the pandemic because he was in the year above me in school and left for college before my last year. He had no social media, only his phone number, and my last phone died fully on me and I couldn't recover anything from it so I lost his number on there. In fact, it was because of a guy I had a crush on, in early 2020, that I met my boyfriend again. The guy said he'd walk home with me because that morning on my way to college, an older guy had stalked me and I felt worried about going home by myself. My 'friend'/crush ditched me without a word, so I had to walk to the train in fear and I saw my bf on the far end of the platform and omfg, the joy I felt seeing him again. It's crazy to think on it now that if the guy I crushed on back then hadn't ditched me and left me waiting those extra 20 minutes, I might not have ever reunited with my bf and eventually start dating him again (we dated in the past but I had so many problems years ago in my personal life that I broke up with him on good terms and we just remained best friends). And you know what was crazy? He admitted to me a while back on a night out with one of our old friends that over those years, he never got over me. I feel bad that he pined for years and didn't move on, but it makes me feels so genuinely loved to know that someone who has seen me at my worst, who has put up with the angry side of me that I used to not be able to control, STILL felt love for me all that time up until now.